How do you feel your confidence has changed over the past 10 years?

My confidence professionally has sky rocketed since my divorce and my children have become older.

Why do you think that is?

I focused on my career rather than being in an abusive marriage trying to keep my ex husband sober.

I’m less anxious about the children seeing his behaviour, albeit they heard things I never knew they had.

I’m less worried financially as I don’t have his chronic debts to pay.

Do you feel invisible in some aspects of your life? How does that show up?

I feel invisible sometimes as a women. I feel like I’m a warrior most days, managing a team, managing all the financial responsibilities, managing the children’s wellbeing, responsibility for the home.

I feel like an alpha female not by choice but by necessity.

Tell me about a woman who is older than you, inspires you & why?

My mum suffered an abusive marriage.

She was 19 when she had me, tried her best, achieved a great career although lived through significant domestic violence.

She achieved a degree and masters at 62, she was never allowed to study but very clever.

What worries you about ageing?

That my life in my 20s 30s has gone and it was a struggle and I have responsibility for my children on my own.

I’ve always cared for others never felt I’ve ever been really cared for myself.

What excites you about ageing?

That I don’t care what people think of me.

What advice would you give your 15 year old self?

Travel & educate yourself.

Never marry.

Heal from your childhood trauma, don’t take the path your mum did with an abusive marriage.

Question from Clare.
How have your experiences affected your friendships?

I don’t want friendships. I have nothing to give at a deeper level now.

Superficial friends suit me.

Thank you for answering my questions. Lou is an alias.