How do you feel your confidence has changed over the past 10 years?

I feel as though my confidence has very much been like a huge rollercoaster ride, lots of downs, ups and a few curve balls thrown in for good measure!

As a teenager and into my early 20’s I oozed confidence, I felt at my peak of life back then.  I’d always be smiling, bubbly and chat to absolutely anyone. So I was high up on the rollercoaster in those days.

Then from mid 20s it felt as if it was all downhill from there.  Lots of lows where my confidence was concerned, I wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone let alone smile at them or have a conversation with them.

My confidence now has changed a great deal.  I have strong beliefs which I stick by and one of my favourite sayings is communication is a beautiful thing, so where once upon a time I wouldn’t speak my mind or say something to someone, in case I upset them, I say it, respectfully of course.

Why do you think that is?

I think life and life experiences have certainly shaped my confidence but I also think my personal growth has had some influence too.

Do you feel invisible in some aspects of your life? How does that show up?

For those who have never met me in real life won’t be aware but I am actually on 4ft9 inches small.

As a teenager this was never really an issue, although over the years there has been the odd comment here and there.  I’m now in my mid 40’s and for the last few years it feels as though my height has suddenly become an issue and it always seems as through I’m compensating for my height.

For two and a half years I was a Personal Instructor at my local cadet detachment and I remember on my first night cadets trying to be intimidating toward me with their height.

It’s what they see, small, short petite female who looks like a child and automatically think they are speaking to a child, so for me I have to mentally prepare myself and always be one step ahead!

Tell me about a woman who is older than you, inspires you and why? Describe how she makes you feel.

Dawn Neesom (@DawnNeesom) is a 59 year old journalist who I follow over on X (formerly known as Twitter).  She sets her alarm for silly o’clock in the morning, she always working, she takes loo selfies and she’s generally just a vibrant ray of sunshine.  During the festive period she dressed up each day to match individually wrapped quality street!

I am inspired by Dawn because she shows that by getting up, dressing up and showing up you can still have fun and work hard too.  She shows how age isn’t a barrier when you are doing a job that you love.

Dawn inspires and empowers me, she makes me feel as though there’s still a lot more to come in life – no matter how old you are!

What worries you about ageing?

The regret of doing things I should have done when I should have done them, instead of convincing myself I was never good enough.  Not even using my potential to its fullest and running out of time before I’ve done things that I want to do in life.

Becoming invisible and lost in society, being discriminated against and not accepted because of my age.

What excites you about ageing?

Proving everyone wrong and smashing my way through life chasing my dreams.  There is nothing more empowering than achieving all the things in life that people told you that you couldn’t or tried very hard to dissuade you from doing those things in the first place.

As a forty-something-year-old you feel a little rebellious as you work hard to prove everyone wrong.

What advice would you give your 15-year-old self?

I have seen this question floating around for many years but I’ve not actually stopped and thought about it, until now.  I think it would be, always go with your gut instinct because it will always tell you the truth.

Fast forward to 2033 what are the 3 things you hope will have changed?

What a fantastic question!

As an advocate for domestic abuse I really hope to see clear change where this abhorrent crime is concerned.  I think one of those changes (and believe you me there are many more than one!) has to be all professional bodies working with victims of domestic abuse must be domestic abuse trained.  Actually I have set up a petition to make it mandatory for all social workers to have domestic abuse training Make domestic abuse training mandatory for all social workers – Petitions (

Secondly, I would to see change in our Justice System for victims of domestic abuse and that they actually get the Justice they deserve.

Finally, I would like to see a positive change around the safety of women across the board, not just bits and pieces being done here and there.

For anyone wanting to take a look at the work I do around domestic abuse please feel free to visit my website