How do you feel your confidence has changed over the past 10 years?
I lacked confidence due to the nature of my upbringing and circumstances that had led me to believe lies about myself such as that I am not good enough and I am not loveable.
Over the past 10 years, I have identified those lies and replaced them with what I know to be true about myself: I am loveable. I am worth the life I want. I am good enough. I don’t have to believe what others say about me nor is it any of my business. Holding onto the truths, with help from the 12 step community, has helped my confidence improve. In essence, I had to work on my inner self.
Why do you think that is?
I have increased my self-intimacy as part of my trauma recovery.
I have overcome years of domestic abuse such as parental alienation and being stalked, PTSD, being scapegoated in my family, betrayal, emotional abandonment, years of being bullied as an adult and child.
I quit smoking and drinking alcohol (sober powered).
I have overcome being socially penalized for healing and making different choices than others would make.
During the course of it all, I have returned to my true self. I have a deeper love and respect for myself. I know when and how to insert self-grace and self-compassion.
I know my truth.
Do you feel invisible in some aspects of your life? How does that show up?
I did feel invisible in my family, in relationships with others, and in business. That happened as a result of being different. People taught me that being different was bad through their poor treatment of me. As a result of my hardships and PTSD/autism, it was hard to consistently follow through and show up for myself in a healthy way.
When I wanted to start my own business, I was afraid of putting myself out there. I was afraid of introducing myself to people. I was afraid of more rejection. And I had to work on my beliefs about money. I deserved to work and live and make money on my terms.
I didn’t have to work a 9-5. And the 9-5 life is not something I want.
The biggest battle I faced with visibility was putting myself on social media due to my previous experiences with someone hacking into my email, tapping into my phone, and stalking me online. I have worked hard on not letting those past situations stop me from putting myself out there in the world.
Tell me about a woman who is older than you, inspires you and why? Describe how she makes you feel.
My post traumatic growth has shown me I am inspiring.
So, my future self inspires me.
She is poised, committed to her goals and dreams by being consistent, disciplined, and unapologetically different.
She makes me feel safe, in control, and peaceful.
What worries you about ageing?
Nothing.
While it has transformed me, I am really glad the last 4 decades of my life are in the past. I am looking forward to rebuilding my life.
My goal is to travel more, write more, and keep learning.
Follow me on Medium @drfynn to learn more about lessons from my journey.
What excites you about ageing?
Everything; I am excited about stepping into my new self and living life to the fullest
What advice would you give your 15-year-old self?
You have a right to be angry and feel whatever it is you need to feel.
Go find your tribe of likeminded people who appreciate you for who you are.
Don’t settle for less in moments where you deserve more.
9. Question from Alena..
What does strength mean to you?
Keeping my personal power rather than giving it away to people/situations and inserting self-grace into my life every. Single. Day.
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