How do you feel your confidence has changed over the past 10 years?
It has definitely ebbed and flowed towards progress until a dramatic drop 3-yrs ago in 2020.
However, committing to UPFRONT’s Bond 7 confidence course over the past 6 weeks has skyrocketed my confidence to a peak I’ve never experienced in my life.
Why do you think that is?
I’ve always been taught to adapt and be flexible. This has enabled me to adhere to everyone’s expectations by aligning with gender and cultural norms; whether it be personal or professional.However, May 2020 introduced the best gift (my daughter) and a series of blows… first wave lock-down birth and lack of post-natal care resulting in 14-months recovery due to complications; redundancy when my daughter was 1-month old; and a shift in my identity as a new mother, to name a few.When I entered the workplace post-maternity over the next couple of years, there were instances where I struggled with the juggle of the motherhood penalty, noticed unconscious biases, and felt confused when tasked with defining my identity.UPFRONT equipped me with acknowledging my newfound confidence through self-reflection, embracing vulnerability, and lots of unlearning.
Do you feel invisible in some aspects of your life? How does that show up?
Absolutely! I have always been an “Other – Please Specify” box ticker, an afterthought for those worthy of a definitive ‘box’. The “ME” in BAME.
I came across unconscious biases and assumptions regarding my identity on a daily basis since childhood.As a woman from an under-represented background, I am determined to be the person I want to see, and a role-model for my mixed daughter.
Tell me about a woman who is older than you, inspires you and why? Describe how she makes you feel.
I have a well-esteemed friend who is over 15-yrs older than me, and used to be a colleague of mine. She has bravely overcome a series of losses in her immediate family and uses her faith to seek opportunities and purpose in her life. In her 40s and into her 50s she embraced a (new) long-term relationship, moved to an unfamiliar location and continues to nurture others with her empathetic ear.She is inspirational in spirit and doesn’t even acknowledge it herself. She makes me feel encouraged that age does not define you, and shouldn’t be a barrier in living your life and seeking new experiences. Life is sacred and should be cherished at every moment. Leave your pride behind and take risks, nobody else will do it for you.
What worries you about ageing?
Any discrimination that will come my way as a result…
What excites you about ageing?
The wisdom, opportunities, memories, and experiences I will gain.Life is time!
What advice would you give your 15-year-old self?
Don’t be afraid to take up space and be the Milky Way.You are good enough as you are, and it’s okay to make mistakes.Don’t apologise, unless the situation truly requires an apology.Practice gratitude and be grateful for your parents’ sacrifices.Life is sacred and should be cherished at every moment.Leave your pride behind and take risks, nobody else will do it for you.Protect your vulnerability.