How has your confidence changed in the past decade?
I feel my confidence has changed significantly in the last 10 years. I had very little confidence in my 30’s.
Although to the world it probably appeared that I was bubbly and therefore confident. But you can come across as confident and still be insecure.

Why do you think that is?

My confidence has changed because I realised in my early 40’s that the weight of other people’s expectations and judgements of me, were not my problem. That is their expectation and judgement, not mine.

I know who I am now.

I was always a people pleaser and eventually I decided I’d come to a crossroads in life and I knew what I wanted to do.

It lead to me starting my own website and podcast. I would never have considered 10 years ago that I would start my own website which offers blogs, guest blogs, support and information for those impacted by domestic abuse. And the thought of being in front of a camera in my podcast DIP in and out with Lucy would have seemed impossible 10 years ago!

Do you feel invisible in some aspects of your life? How does that show up?

I think being a 45 year old woman and starting my own business can make me feel invisible at times.
Especially, when the subject I’m discussing is domestic abuse!
For me, it shows up when I’m contacting large organisations to introduce myself and there’s no response, that can make me feel invisible.

Tell me about a woman who is older than you, inspires you and why? Describe how she makes you feel

One of my closest friends is older than me and she is a complete source of inspiration.
She, like so many has experienced tragedy and triumph in her life but what sets her apart for me, is that she does it with a stillness and calmness I wish I possessed.
She makes me feel happy when I see her or think about her. She brings out a fun-loving side of me whenever we’re together.
And the laughter never stops.
To me, that’s beautiful.

What worries you about ageing?

I suppose I do worry about my health. Am I eating enough healthy foods, am I getting enough exercise?
I think social media and the media in general, place so much emphasis on looking young “for your age.” I do buy the wrinkle creams etc.. but I try to view that as me enjoying taking care of myself – for me.
Having children at home means the times I do get to look after myself, I want to enjoy that time.
What excites you about ageing?
Knowing who I am now excites me, because that isn’t going to change. It will only grow stronger and get better with age, so that excites me!

What advice would you give to your 15 year old self?

Slow down would be my advice.
Set yourself real boundaries on who you focus your time and energy on.
My grandma had some amazing sayings when I was growing up. And an appropriate one for this would be, “you can’t put an old head on young shoulders.” It took me many years to appreciate that saying.
And finally, a question from Rosie

Can you ever truly rebuild your life following substantial trauma being emotionally inflicted?

I believe you can.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy at all.

And you are never truly the same person you were before because your life will never be the same. But that’s ok, because now you have something you didn’t have before – knowledge and experience.

I often say I don’t believe you “move on” but you can “move forward”, slowly and at your own pace.

A very important realisation I came to was, it’s OK if some days the most you can say is, “I have given the best I could today.”There is absolutely no shame in that.

To find out more about Lucy, her website, blogs & podcasts visit 
You can find the Dip in & out with Lucy Podcast on Spotify, YouTube & Lucy’s website.